Life Continues...

It has been a long time.

Been thinking it is time to start blogging again.  Perhaps a bit of a fill-in or perhaps not.

This was a very creative and need outlet for me... I like that I have it to read back over.  I like that it can be shared.  We all have our challenges, burdens... our crossroads.   That fork in the road hit me when I went through what is known as a mid-life crisis.  For me it happened when I turned 40, was married for 20 years and had been 20 years since I graduated from college.  I have since learned that mid-life crisis's are not bad as popular media makes us think, they can actually be good when they help us make a change for the better.  It is that moment when we look at our life and say, "This is not were I planned to be, I need to make a change."

I have made a change...

Sometimes I question it....

Because the change contains hurt...

It makes me question if I am being selfish...

That hurts a lot...

I have been separated from Scott going on 3 years now.  My children do not live with me.  I have pretty much been supporting myself and going to school.  It is not about me... but about me getting my feet on the ground so I can have Chance live with me 50% of the time.  But time is not standing still.  He is getting older.  He has missed out on lots of time with me.  He has not had me to kiss him good night and read him a good night story.

It hurts...
... Because my greatest love is being a mother and that has changed.

The decision was not made lightly. But...
... how long do you keep trying?

All I wanted to do in the world was be a mother, a wife, and be loved... forever...