Say You, Say Me

I spoke in church on Sunday-- a 12 minute talk on having a "Christlike Home".   I was given the assignment a month earlier and so those two words had been going through my head.   And I must say as I was putting together my song list-- (that was only going to be "Eagles Fly")  all the rest of the songs were added because they have to do with so much about life and our relationships.   Out of all that we have, what matters the most and lasts the longest is our families.   

I quoted from Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families".   You can read the first part of the book here .    I talked about a few things from chapter one,  about being "off track" and the struggles and stress that we have in our families.  By clicking on the above "here" you can read his message, which I found empowering.  We often compare ourselves to other families and think how perfect they are... bottom line. every family has its challenges, its own bag of rocks!  But hope lies in the vision, the plan, and the ability to get back on track time and time again.

I quoted from our 'Worldwide Leadership Training, Raising a righteous prosperity" Feb. 9, 2008.  God has a pattern ( a flight plan to follow)  for our families and we can all strive for its realization the best way we can.  Each family is unique and has circumstances that differ. Individual adaptions have to be made and we must seek the Lord's guidance regarding our specific circumstances.  

I noted some of those patterns, like family prayer, family scripture, and family home evening (family time together).

I concluded with the first commandant Christ gave his disciples, " As I have loved you, love one another"   Our homes should have a pattern of love-- a language of love... and I read the below clipping.

Words You Should Never Say

 

Your words and how you say them have inestimable impact on your child’s sense of self worth. Children never grow out of needing heavy doses of praise, no matter what their age.

 

The 5-to-1-praise principle is a good rule of thumb to follow: balance every negative comment you make to a child with five positive comments.  Think before you speak.  Ask yourself if what you want to say will build up or tear down your child. Each day look for ways to affirm you child’s unique giftedness and personality.  Encourage others in the family to do the same with each other.

 

Words you should never say to a child

1. You’re just no good.
2. You’ll never amount to anything.
3. You got what you deserved.
4. What’s wrong with you?
5. When are you going to act your age?
6. Can’t you do anything right?
7. I’ve had it with you.
8. All you ever do is cause trouble.
9. Just wait until you have kids.
10. When will you ever learn?
11. You are stupid.
12. You are lazy.
13. Who do you think you are?
14. You’ll be the death of me yet.
15. Haven’t I taught you anything?
16. You need to have your head examined.
17. Don’t you care about anything?
18. What makes you think you’re so special?
19. Don’t you ever listen?
20. When are you going to start obeying me?
21. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times.
22. I can’t wait until you’re gone.
23. Why can’t you be more like your sister?
24. You are so much trouble.
25. I don’t know why I had kids.

 

Words you can’t say enough to a child

1. It is such a blessing to be your mom
2. You’re an incredible person.
3.  You did that so well.
4. If more kids were like you, then the world would be a better place.
5. It’s so good to be with you.
6. You’re the best!
7. You are such a nice person.
8. You’re learning fast.
9. You mean so much to me.
10.  You are very bright.
11. You have unlimited potential.
12. You’re on the right track now.
13. You’re getting the hang of it.
14. That’s the best you’ve ever done.
15. You’re getting better every day.
16. You’re such a quick learner.
17. I appreciate your attitude.
18. I can tell you are trying.
19. I knew you could do it.
20. Keep up the good work.

"SAY YOU, SAY ME;  SAY IT  FOR ALWAYS, THAT IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE 

 SAY YOU, SAY ME; SAY IT TOGETHER, NATURALLY"  

The power of words---